Category: Parents and Educators

Find out about great new educational/homeschool resources, stem activities, experiments, and other recommendations.

Neurodivergent Books for Elementary SchoolERS Ages 5-10, ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Anxiety, SPD

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Book Recommendations, Parents and Educators, View all blog posts

Back in my librarian days, I put together an all-in-one blog post with books that highlighted neurodiversity and included learning differences and abilities across the spectrum. Today, it’s my pleasure to share a list of kidlit books, focused on elementary ages, that feature neurodivergent voices, including Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Note for educators and librarians: This list would be a great resource to use annually for Autism Awareness Month in April and ADHD Awareness Month in October.

PICTURE BOOKS

Book title: ADHD and Me (get your copy here)

Written by (me!) Chelsea DiCicco

Artwork commissioned by Leonie Cheetham

Recommended ages 5-8

Themes: social emotional learning, family, education, home-life, school-life

Featured DIS: ADHD, ASD

Blurb: A neurodivergent story about embracing your differences. For eight-year-old Malory, who has ADHD, school isn’t always an easy place to be. But Malory isn’t the only one who has difficult days. Sometimes it’s her classmates, teachers, or parents. Malory tries her best to focus, but oftentimes, her mind wanders, leading to trips to the principal’s office and phone calls home. Malory’s art teacher, Ms. Julie, understands how it feels to think a little differently from others. Born with Autism, Ms. Julie found comfort and calm through art. Now she uses it to help others to find their safe, creative haven, too. In this inspiring neurodiverse story, Malory will discover that with a little bit of love and support from friends, you can do anything and, along the way, learn the power of believing in yourself and embracing your differences.

Extra resources: extra activities such as learning worksheets including word searches, connect the dot pages, and lesson plans, as well as recreational coloring pages can be found for free download on the author’s website.

Book title: Benji’s Busy Brain (get your copy here)

Written and illustrated by Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez

Recommended ages 4-8

Themes: social emotional learning

Featured DIS: ADHD

Blurb: Benji’s busy brain brings him adventure and excitement, but it can also make some things harder for him. Join Benji as he learns about being diagnosed with ADHD and adds skills to his toolkit to harness the magic powers of his busy brain. Benji’s Busy Brain is the first in the My ADHD Toolkit Books series written by child psychologist and ADHD specialist Dr. Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez.

Book title: My Brain is a Race Car: A children’s guide to a neurodivergent brain (get your copy here)

Written and illustrated by Nell Harris

Recommended ages 4-8

Themes: social emotional learning

Featured DIS: ASD

Blurb: “Brains are just like cars, they all drive round and round a track, picking up information and then bringing it back. Some brains are Race Cars that like to drive extra fast. Sometimes, though, they forget to stop and fully complete a task.’ But driving cars fast all the time and not servicing or maintaining them leads to overheating and burnout. We can apply that same logic to our brains.

Book title: Different Thinkers: ADHD (get your copy here)

Written by Katia Fredriksen and Yael Rothman

Illustrated by Jennifer Ball-Cordero

Recommended ages: 7-9

Themes: Stigma, Education

Featured DIS: ADHD

Blurb: Different Thinkers: ADHD uses simple language and complementary illustrations to explain how the human brain develops, what it means to have ADHD, how the condition affects emotions and behaviors, and what kids can do to handle its challenges while building on their individual strengths.

Book title: My Wandering Dreaming Mind (get your copy here)

Written by Merriam Sarcia Saunders

Illustrated by Tammie Lyon

Recommended ages: 5-9

Themes: social emotional learning

Featured DIS: ADHD

Blurb: Sadie’s thoughts feel like they’re floating high in the clouds and pulling them back down can be hard. At school and at home, paying attention doesn’t always come easily, and keeping up with assignments, chores, and friendships can feel overwhelming. When distractions take over, Sadie notices her mistakes more than her many strengths.

With the support of her parents, Sadie learns a simple and encouraging way to recognize what makes her special. This relatable picture book helps children understand that challenges with focus don’t define who they are. Praised by the Oregon Coast Youth Book Preview Center, the story offers reassurance to children who are easily distracted while highlighting the importance of self-esteem, encouragement, and focusing on positive qualities.

Book title: Juan Has the Jitters (get your copy here)

Written by Aneta Cruz

Illustrated by Miki Yamamoto

Recommended ages 4-8

Themes: social emotional learning

Featured DIS: ASD

Tagline: An interactive children’s book about inclusion, diversity, and the power of math to help one boy with autism thrive amongst his peers.

Blurb: Juan claps his hands to get his Jitters out. They make his tummy swoosh and swirl. They happen when there are too many people, too much noise, or too many changes to his day. Juan doesn’t like surprises!

Tomorrow there is an athletic event planned at school, which makes Juan very nervous. But his teacher has the perfect solution! Math–Juan’s favorite subject! Counting, sorting, and matching help Juan to calm his Jitters. They focus his mind and keep him engaged. By making math part of the day’s athletic games, and by appointing Juan the official judge, he can have fun and feel included. The class is calling it the Mathletic Games!

Juan Has the Jitters is an interactive children’s story about how one boy manages his autism. It is a lesson in the power of inclusion, as the class takes steps to normalize Juan’s special qualities. Colorfully illustrated, this book invites young readers to help Juan as he counts, matches, and sorts both people and objects from the games. Parents of children 4 to 8 years-old can use this book to help teach kids about diversity and the beauty in what makes every one of us unique. Teachers will find the book meets Common Core standard and nurtures multiple domains of scholastic development.

Book title: Masterpiece (get your copy here)

Written by Alexandra Hoffman

Illustrated by Beatriz Mello

Recommended ages 6-9

Themes: social emotional learning

Featured DIS: ASD

Blurb: Masterpiece is an inclusive story featuring Samuel, a boy on the autism spectrum who sees the world differently than his peers. When Samuel’s teacher asks his class to create a piece of art, it quickly becomes apparent that his beautiful way of looking at the world makes him a true masterpiece!

Throughout the story, the other students in his class learn lessons of empathy, understanding, and acceptance. The colourful illustrations will delight children, and Masterpiece may just become a family favourite.

Book title: Some Brains: A Book Celebrating Neurodiversity (get your copy here)

Written by Nelly Thomas

Illustrated by Cat MacInnes

Recommended ages 5-9

Themes: neurodiversity

Featured DIS: ASD, ADHD, Dyslexia

Blurb: Some Brains is the latest heartwarming and funny picture book by Melbourne comedian and author, Nelly Thomas. It starts from the premise that neurodiversity (conditions like Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and the like) is a normal, essential part of human biodiversity – without it, we don’t get Picasso, Einstein, or Greta Thunberg! Yes, neurodiverse kids sometimes require a bit of extra help and patience, but they should never be viewed as disordered. Some Brains encourages us all look for our strengths and to understand that brains are like fingerprints – uniquely, wonderfully ours. All brains are special, All brains are smart, All kids have big thoughts, And all kids have big hearts. ALL KIDS ARE SPECIAL – JUST FOLLOW THEIR HEARTS

Book title: My Brain is Magic: A Sensory-Seeking Celebration (get your copy here)

Written by Prasha Sooful

Illustrated by Geeta Ladi

Recommended ages 5-9

Themes: sensory processing

Featured DIS: SPD/neurodivergence

Is your brain magic? Whether your brain buzzes around the room like a bee or tells you to be loud and roar like a lion, celebrate the many things that it can be!

This sensory-seeking celebration shines a light on neurodiversity and sensory processing in a fun and action-packed way for all children to enjoy.

Book title: The Brain Forest (get your copy here)

Written by Sandhya Menon

Illustrated by Kushla Ross

Recommended ages 5-8

Themes: neurodiversity

Featured DIS: ADHD, Dyslexia, anxiety

The Brain Forest is a fun and engaging children’s book written by neurodivergent child psychologist Sandhya Menon that teaches children about neurodiversity, including neurotypical brains, autism, ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, and more-in language that builds understanding without pathologizing difference. Unlike books that focus only on “acceptance,” The Brain Forest acknowledges real challenges while centering strengths, helping children develop positive neurodivergent identity from an early age.

Book title: Wonderfully Wired Brains: An Introduction to the World of Neurodiversity (get your copy here)

Written by Louise Gooding

Illustrated by Ruth Burrows

Recommended ages 7-9

Themes: neurodiversity, education

Featured DIS: ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia

Blurb: Wonderfully Wired Brains teaches children aged 7-9 all about the awesome abilities that neurodiverse individuals have, introduces them to advocates who are challenging neurodiversity stereotypes, and most importantly gives them a safe space to feel accepted.

This inspirational book written by neurodiverse author Louise Gooding challenges misconceptions and shows how neurodivergent brains work a little differently. Our brains are unique in the way they function, work, and think. Neurodiversity is still a relatively ’new’ concept that can be tricky to understand, but this book is here to help!

Have a book recommendation? Leave it in the comments!

STEAM Homeschool Group Takeaways

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Parents and Educators, View all blog posts 
Dear readers,

This October marked the 10th month of the STEAM Homeschool Group. From the first meet in January with 0 in attendance, oh, how our group has grown! I’m thrilled the share that this past group we had 60 participants!

Can you believe it? I sure can’t! How exciting it is to see all the new members we have gained and the families who have been able to connect from this fabulous group!

As you all know, this project is a passion of mine. I was a homeschooler, and I know how hard it is for families (especially with multiple children) to find inexpensive Homeschool Programs and resources. So naturally, I was beyond the moon excited to start this completely FREE program.

Not only does this group provide a safe space for families and children to meet other homeschoolers within their community, at no charge, but we’re also able to provide free resources like:

* Educational Textbooks
* Interactive Workbooks
* Leveled Reader Books
* Pre-planned literacy training worksheets
* Individually Created Honor Kits on various subjects (math, science, history, animals, plants, anatomy, weather, space, reading comprehension, poetry, biographies, language, etc)
And much more!

Every group meet I feel the same emotions.

Gratitude, joy, overwhelming happiness. And inspiration! Tons of inspiration!

To give you an idea of why I feel this way, I want to share some takeaways from what I saw during our group this past Monday.

Things I witnessed as I looked around the room:

* Creativity
* Inventiveness
* Curiosity
* Kindness
* Friendships forming
* Teamwork
* Problem-solving
* Learning inspired by natural play
* Engineering
* Building
* Kids thinking outside of the box to make something original, that brings them joy

I saw 100% unadulterated pure exploration, and what a sight it was! And guess what? The kids weren't the only ones playing and having a good time. Parents were too! 

These parents are connecting with their kids, and other adults! Forming community and cultivating a network of friends. Using their imaginations to help build and create at our STEAM tables!

What an absolute treasure this group has been. And what a pleasure it has been to see it grow and flourish! The feedback and love in this program has been astounding. I’m so grateful for all of our amazing participants of this group who help make it what it is.

So, here are some fabulous pictures from our time together in October. Enjoy!

Some kiddos enjoying our Fall themed worksheets and activities!
Here’s a group of boys working together at our “build” table!
Our “create” table is always a hit! Check out some of this fabulous, original artwork.
Mom is playing some games too at our “games and puzzles” table!
Our “science” table is booming with curious hands and minds!
Here are a few small hands forming some sight words!
Teamwork at its best! Keep it up, ladies.
Proud of what he built! And he should be, it’s pretty impressive.
One of our young members made this and gifted it to me. She also gave me a flawless sales pitch for her ideas for a new company and the products she will make and sell. She’s going places!
Another look at the “science” table!

STEAM Homeschool Group: Updates from “your friendly neighborhood librarian”

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Parents and Educators, View all blog posts

Hello, hello!

I hope everyone had an amazing summer! The Children’s Librarians had a splash with our theme: OCEANS OF POSSIBILITIES! But now it’s back to school. Speaking of school… today, I’m sharing some homeschool updates.

As you probably know from my previous blog entries, I host a homeschool group for the families in the community of Sumner County Tennessee, in connection with the Hendersonville Public Library of Tennessee, where I work as a Children’s Librarian.

Working as a Children’s Librarian, and having a professional history of childcare and homeschool education, I knew I wanted to create a program that would provide a safe environment for homeschool families while keeping money in their pockets. In other words: FREE. But, what exactly was it that these families were looking for?

I started brainstorming.

I took polls.

I asked people in our community what they needed. What they wanted.

Join Children's Librarian Miss Chelsea as she explores STEAM HOMESCHOOL in the library!

And after some heavy research, I came to a decision. I wanted to create a Homeschool Group where families could relax, cross collaborate, talk freely, and share information and kids could connect, make friends, and learn in a fun natural way, free of forced group activities, time restrictions, or formatted rules. I wanted a hands on learning experience that was child driven. I wanted a STEAM Homeschool Group!

In December of 2021, STEAM Homeschool Group was just a bright shimmering dream. And in January 2022, it became a reality! Of course, no one showed up for that very first meeting. Starting a new program takes time to build members. And besides, January is too cold! Nobody wants to start something new in the wintertime. But, little by little we grew in number.

Fast forward a few months to August 2022.

I’m happy to announce that our monthly meet for August, 2022, we had a jaw-dropping 40 homeschool family members join us for our STEAM Homeschool Group!

Science & Technology
Engineering & Building
Create! Arts!
Puzzles & Games
Free Educational Books & Resources
Honor Kits (Science & Social Studies)
They found the freebies!
These moms are getting their hands dirty too!
Look at our builders go!
Tinkering and learning!
Look at the action at the science table!
Someone found a book to read…
We’ve got some puzzlers and gamers!
Look at the engineering happening!
A creative way to spend the day!
These small hands found paint!

The kids had a wonderful time exploring the STEAM tables and the parents were thrilled to pick up their free school books and resources. From our free resource corner, we had pre-packed leveled readers, vocabulary readers, educational honor book packs (science and social studies), and teacher handbooks with corresponding homework and lesson plans. Several appreciative families expressed their gratitude for the provisions provided by the Hendersonville Public Library of Tennessee.

All in all, it was a fantastic day! We’re looking forward to our next monthly meet. If you’d like to find out how to sign up, please visit our the Hendersonville Public Library of Sumner County page on Facebook.

Thanks for reading and happy homeschool wishes!

To stay up to date with me, your friendly neighborhood librarian, you can follow my Instagram page @chelseasworldofbooks

STEAM IN THE LIBRARY AND IN HOMESCHOOLING

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Parents and Educators, View all blog posts

It’s been a little while since I’ve made a post. Here’s what I’ve been up to…

For the past few months I’ve been gathering information, doing research, attending webinars, and working vigorously toward starting a non-profit Homeschool Group for families in need in my community. And I’m happy to announce, it has been a great success!

I’m so excited to share this news with you, so let’s dive right in!

What is Homeschool Group?

Homeschool Group is a place where families can come together and socialize, and kids can engage in self-paced, hands-on learning in a relaxed and creative environment. Right now, my group is open to ages 7-10, but I may look at expanding those age brackets as time goes on and I get a better feel for the specific needs of my community.

Where and when is Homeschool Group hosted? How can I attend?

Great question! Homeschool Group is being hosted in the Hendersonville Public Library in Tennessee. This group is held on the first Monday of each month at 2 PM. Sign-up sheets can be found in the Children’s area. For other cool events we have going on, check out our Facebook page or Instagram feed for updates and calendar info!

My personal goal with Homeschool Group is to inspire creativity and encourage social emotional learning while exposing children to the five elements of STEAM education; science, technology, engineering, arts, and math.

Around the room I have activity tables set up for kids to visit, imagine, and explore the wonders of reading, science, building, writing, creating, socializing, inventing, and playing!


Each of our tables is inspired by STEAM concepts, and is designed to encourage creative thinking and problem solving, enhance motor skills and social-emotional learning, and inspire children to find connections and explore the realm of imagination in a safe and fun environment.

DISCOVERING THE SCIENCE BEHIND A RAINCLOUD

Throughout the building process of this project, I was able to get some fabulous inspiration and ideas from several webinars, a few that I will mention here.

The two that stood out among the rest were STEAM in the Public Library: Programs & Services for Children and Creative Spaces and Family Engagement in Libraries, both available on Webjunction. Now, for those of you who may not know this, in addition to being a children’s book writer, I am also a Children’s Librarian. And, being homeschooled for the majority of my childhood, I have extensive knowledge of what it’s like to be in that position. How hard it can be to make connections within the community. Finding the right resources. Finding places to go. And forget about costs! You can’t find a “cheap” homeschooling program or event to participate in, and free? Free is unheard of. Everything costs something, and most often, it’s a higher price than the average family is looking to spend. Especially when you have more than one child. And that’s not a slight at pricing. It’s very possible that the price is justified and appropriate for whatever services are being offered, but nonetheless, many families simply can’t afford it.

Prepping our activities!

So naturally, coming from a place of understanding, I wanted to offer a service to these families that wouldn’t dip into their pockets. And after some well thought out planning and a trial run, we were finally up and running!

Back to the wonderful Webinars I was able to enjoy. Here are a few of the notes I took from Creative Spaces and Family Engagement in Libraries, that really made me think about why art is such an important role in a child’s life.

The arts are not just expressive and effective. They are deeply cognitive. The arts develop essential thinking tools:

Pattern recognition and development.

Mental representations of the observed/imagined.

Symbolic and metaphorical representations.

Abstraction from complexity.

Cross wiring of brain areas.

Engagement with an art trains the brain to FOCUS, improving learning

* Interest in an art form leads to sustained attention when practicing that art form.

* Engaging in art involves resolving conflicts among competing possible responses.

* The ability to resolve conflict among competing responses is also a crucial aspect of attention training.

Arts integration improves learning

Studies consistently show:

* Greater emotional investment in classes.

* Work more diligently and learn from each other.

* Parents become more involved.

* Teachers collaborate more.

* Increased cross-curricular learning.

* Curriculum becomes more authentic, hands-on and project-based.

https://learn.webjunction.org/mod/page/view.php?id=448

Whew! That was a lot to type up. But, well worth it. In fact, I loved it so much, I printed it all out and laminated copies for personal inspiration and reminders as I plan each group.

A few other points I took from this seminar that I really appreciated; I want to share with you below.

Art is a form of self-expression.

Art experiences should not invite sameness. Art should not require an instruction sheet. Art should not have a deadline. Art should encourage creativity, not conformity.

Think of setting up an art experience in the same way you would think of setting up a science experiment.

Encourage tinkering. Invite inventiveness.

Art is not a team sport.

Most often, artistic creation is solitary. Group art WILL leave some kids feeling rushed and compared.

https://learn.webjunction.org/mod/page/view.php?id=448

Yes, yes, YES, to all of the above! If you don’t believe this to be true, I suggest taking a look at my book, ADHD and Me. Yep, shameless self-promo. But I wouldn’t try to sell you if I didn’t think it’s true. And I happen to know it is because it was inspired by a real young lady, who went through the same everyday challenges as Malory. Who was that young lady? Me.

About the book: ADHD and Me is an SEL (social-emotional learning) book about a young girl named Malory who has ADHD. Throughout her neurodiverse journey, she is encouraged to express herself using art, by her art teacher Ms. Julie, who was diagnosed as a young girl with Autism. With the help of her fabulous support system, including friends and family, Malory is able to find the joys in life and embrace her differences.

Now for my notes on STEAM in the Public Library: Programs & Services for Children with guest speaker Amy Koester and blogger, “THE SHOW ME LIBRARIAN.”

A little bit about Amy. Amy is a Learning Experiences Manager of a Public Library. She serves as a vice president of ASLC, and she’s a big supporter of her library and community. To see more about her click here.

Amy is a kindred spirit and fellow supporter of all things STEAM. And, her blog is simply AMAZING. Here is a link to visit her blog, THE SHOW ME LIBRARIAN.

So, a few things that I took away from this webinar are listed below.

  • American children are lagging behind other countries when it comes to creative thinking.
  • School and life success isn’t just about reading.
  • Creativity is a top work skill. Today, big companies are looking for outside-of-the box thinkers and problem solvers. It is a highly valued and sought after trait in today’s workforce. And understandably so. Children who are adept learners and creative problem solvers statistically fair better in all avenues of life.

Now, a few of the suggestions that Amy gives are:

  • Set up activity stations (check!)
  • Observation station (check-check!)
  • Sensory lights (FUN!)
  • Sand (PERFECT!)
  • Rocks (LOVE!)
  • Glow in the dark (Who doesn’t love glow in the dark stuff?)
  • Grow plants (Check!)
  • Root gardens (Fantastic idea)
  • Incorporate living things (100%)
  • Butterflies/ant farms- and tie in books that fit your experiment! (yes!) While we are on that topic, see if you can sprinkle in non-fiction books too!
  • Snails/worms (yes)
  • Use recyclables (ALWAYS!)

A few other helpful tips to make your programming fun and engaging for your young participants:

Ask Questions!

Encourage them to make something.

Get your hands dirty!

Include things that will involve motor skills.

Make STEAM displays fun: one suggestion Amy gave was a globe! A globe is great because kids can both look at it AND play with it. It spins!

And last but not least, give children the tools to succeed!

Three Ways to Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Parents and Educators, View all blog posts 
Building up a child’s inner confidence is part of our job as parents, caregivers, and educators. In order to properly do this, there are several things we need to be mindful of and a few things we should avoid.




I will start with the top three things we SHOULD do.


    

  • Focus on the positive
    • 


  • Use kind speech
    • 


  • Be ready to forgive




Focusing on the positive is first on the list of things to do to help boost your child’s self-esteem.



*Note: focusing on the positive does not AND should not mean that you can never express the negative. In life, there will consistently be both. However, if you follow these simple guidelines, it will make this process much simpler to understand and apply in to your everyday routine. So, how can we focus on the positive? What exactly does that mean? Let’s discuss a few ways.



Focusing on the positive goes hand-in-hand with positive affirmations. Why is positive affirmation so important? When a person receives a compliment, the brain, in turn, gets a “rise in dopamine.” As brought out in the linked article: “dopamine is associated with motivation, focus, and positivity.” These are all great things for children and people in general to have.



Example of using a positive affirmation/compliment to boost self-esteem: Mom is going to the grocery store. While she is buckling Hannah into her car seat, she notices that her older son, John, is buckling himself into the car without being helped. What does she do? Mom responds. “I noticed that you remembered to buckle your seatbelt all by yourself when we got into the car. That was very responsible. Good job!”



Why is this notable? Rather than taking John’s seemingly simple/small accomplishment for granted, Mom chose to capitalize on this opportunity to offer positive commendation/affirmation. By taking the initiative to reward John with praise for his task, mom has actually provided him with something crucial to his development. What is it? You guessed it- dopamine.



By taking active initiative to provide her child with this commendation, she has just given him the needed encouragement to repeat this action. What is the end result? Mom has done an excellent job in creating an incentive for John to continue practicing a healthy/positive habit. 



*Now, as mentioned before, there will be times when there will be good and bad things to mention. But how you go about expressing the negative aspects without harming your child’s self-esteem is the key. So, how can you do that?



That brings us to kind speech. 



As you’re probably familiar with from the working world, delivering “bad” or “unpleasant” news is often best when you accompany it with good news. Sometimes, this is not an option. But most of the time, there is something you can use to your advantage. Let’s discuss a few examples.




Example of an educator in an art room, using kind speech to both commend and correct:



Mr. Mark is hosting a creative painting class. A young student has made a beautiful portrait, but also a massive mess! There is paint splattered on the floor as well as the walls. How will Mr. Mark respond?



Mr. Mark assesses the situation. He approaches the student privately and in a soft tone. “You’ve done a wonderful job using color to express yourself on this page. I’m proud of you. But, now that we’ve painted, we will need to clean up the spots that missed the page and landed on the floors and walls.”



What do we take away from this example?



Firstly, Mr. Mark spoke to the student directly instead of broadcasting the situation in front of the entire classroom. 



Next, he spoke in a “soft tone.” If you’re a parent with a teenager, or if you’ve ever been a teenager, it’s likely that you’ve heard the expression before: “It’s not what you said it’s how you said it.” This truly applies in this setting. How you say something can deeply affect both the meaning as well as how a child will respond to it.



And finally, I’ve saved the best for last. Did you notice how Mr. Mark began the conversation with his student? He did not start by reprimanding the mess. Instead, he began with praise. This is a good tactic to remember for pretty much every relationship in life... but an especially good one to remember when dealing with children. Keep in mind: children are fragile. Their brains, emotions, and bodies are still growing. So, be patient, be gentle, and always be kind.



The third item on our agenda to boost children’s self-esteem is being ready to forgive.



What does that mean? That means mentally preparing and coming to terms with the definite knowledge that your child or student WILL make mistakes. They will do things that upset, hurt, frustrate you. But, how you respond to this can either make or break the situation- and child’s self-esteem.



So, how can you keep your cool when dealing with a potentially frustrating situation? There are a lot of suggestions out there. But the one that works best for me is very simple. Before responding in a fit of blazing anger or exasperation, I take a moment and imagine that I am that child. How would I want someone to respond to me? Was this error made with malicious intent, or was it made by pure accident? 




Each circumstance will be different from the next, which is why putting yourself into the headspace of that child is crucial to gauging how to respond correctly. 




*Admittedly, we will have moments where we make mistakes too. Maybe one of those mistakes will even be responding to a situation in a way we wish we hadn’t. So, it’s important to remember to be ready to forgive not only your children or students but yourself too. Forgiveness is a two-way street. And in order to keep that balance maintained, it takes work. Keep this question in mind: How can we offer forgiveness to others when we can’t show ourselves that same courtesy?




Tips: 
    

  • Be honest in both commendation and correction. Children can sense sincerity, and a way to show respect for them is by treating them with the dignity of honesty.
    • 


  • Be specific; avoid blanket statements.


Examples of using positive affirmations in a home or school setting.



#1: “I appreciate what you’ve done.”


#2: "Your participation/comments/thoughts is/are valuable to us."



Now for the NO-NO’sWe have gone over the things to be mindful of, and now it’s time to jump into the things we should avoid. These are known as the “NO-NO’s.” 




NO-NO #1


Avoid comparisons between children/students. No two children are the same, so it is, therefore, unreasonable to compare them to each other. Additionally, comparisons can lead to many harmful mental complexes down the road. So, do your child/student a favor and keep comparisons at bay. Remember: the only person a person should ever be compared to is the person they were yesterday. Self-reflective comparisons can actually be a very beneficial tool in helping to gauge healthy success and reach goals.





NO-NO #2


We have danced around this topic but haven’t directly addressed it yet. So, for no-no #2, we have: AVOID FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVES FIRST. As was brought out earlier, this does not mean that you cannot tell your child when they have made a mistake. That would be an unbalanced overcorrection, which would lead to unrealistic and unhealthy habits down the road. Remember: wherever possible, practice directing your attention first to positive aspects before delivering critique or correction.



If you work to incorporate these three keys, you will be amazed at how these changes will help benefit your child’s mental health and boost their self-esteem!





For a suggested article on why to give compliments click here.

Three Ways to Create a Healthy Support System for your Child

Posted on by Chelsea’s World of Books in Parents and Educators, View all blog posts

Regulating consistency can be as simple as responding to situations and actions regarding house rules, in the same way, every time. It is very important that whatever you decide on, that you maintain it. This involves setting a goal and sticking to it.

Example of NOT responding consistently to situations or actions: 

Last week, Tommy asked if he could have dessert before dinner, and the reply was, “You know the house rules. Dessert is for after dinner, only.” This week when Tommy asked the same question, the reply was different. Why is this a problem? By giving a new reply, it creates an inconsistency with the house rules stated the previous week. Children, like adults, need stability to thrive. By not following through with the guidelines that you have provided, you are depriving your child of that stability.

*Of course, in life, there will always be exceptions. Changes and unexpected circumstances are inevitable. That being said, if your routine must change, be consistent about explaining to your children the reasons why it must change, and preferably, express this change before it takes place.

Example: “Next week, when Grandma comes to visit, you will be able to have dessert before dinner. This is an exception to our house rule, and after Grandma goes back home, we will continue having dessert after dinner.”

By explaining the situation beforehand, you have acknowledged the change prior to it being made. This allows the child to anticipate it. Not only that, but you have also made the transition clear. Once Grandma goes back home, things will go back to normal. This helps the child to understand the boundaries of the house rules so that there are no uncertainties.

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Establishing trust is the cornerstone of importance when it comes to creating a healthy support system for your child.

One of the best ways you can establish trust with your child is by making sure to respect his/her preferences and boundaries. Each child is different, so each child will display his/her preferences and boundaries in different ways. 

Example of a child displaying preferences/boundaries: Father comes home from work and gently pats child’s head. The child frowns and pulls away. The father asks, “why did you pull away?” The child responds, “I don’t like when my head is touched.” The father nods, “Okay, I’ll remember that.” The following day, the father comes home from work and greets the child with a smile. Instead of touching his child, he asks, “How was your day today?” The child smiles and replies, “It was good.”

What do we learn from this scenario? 

The child is sensitive to physical touch. They displayed this by pulling away. Instead of ignoring this, the father asked a follow-up question to get further information to better understand the child’s perspective. When the child responded that they did not like their head being touched, how did the father respond? Did he force his child to conform to his own level of comfort and boundaries toward physical affection? No.

After the child expressed their boundary and level of comfort, the father took note of their preference. The following day, when he arrived home from work, he made a point of respecting his child’s boundaries. What is the result? The child now feels a level of increased comfort toward the father. By respecting his child’s sensory boundary, he has established trust.

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Another way to create a healthy support system for your child is to make yourself available. By making yourself available to your child, you show them that you value them with your time. This reassures them of their importance, not only to you but as individuals. (This also helps boost their self-esteem.)

Example of making yourself available: Mother is making dinner in the kitchen. Her son comes up to her with something important. “Mom, I need to talk to you.” “Can it wait?” Mom says. “No, I need to talk to you right now.” What do you do? 

The truth is, sometimes, the answer needs to be, “not right now.” If you are in the middle of something, like cooking dinner, and you are dealing with time-sensitive things, sometimes, you cannot provide your child with undivided attention at that exact moment. That being said, there are ways to go about this to maintain a healthy relationship with your child that both show that you value them and that their feelings and thoughts are important both to you and in general.

Example of how to respond if you CAN’T talk right now: Pause from what you are doing and give direct eye contact (in some cases, where appropriate, you can establish focus by gently placing your hands on your child’s shoulders.) “I’m very busy right now cooking. If I try to handle dinner and our discussion at the same time, I may burn the food or not be able to focus fully on what you are saying. I would like to hear what you have to say and give you my full attention. As soon as I am done here, I will sit down with you at the table, and we will talk. Okay?”

Key points about this response:

  1. Mom gave direct eye contact and focused on the child, validating their self-esteem and expressing genuine interest in what they had to say. Why is this important? Because this reassures the child that mom cares about what they have to say.
  2. Mom didn’t say, “maybe later.” Instead, she gave a definite response, “we will talk,” and she even set a specific time and location, “as soon as I’m done here, I will sit down with you at the table.” What does this do for the child? This establishes stability. They have a definite answer.
  3. And finally, mom gave an explanation as to why she could not provide undivided attention at that moment. By doing this, Mom was teaching her child that “time and place” are important and relative to sharing thoughts. This is something that all children will need to learn as they grow. By giving this explanation to your child when they are young, it will help prepare them for adulthood without inflicting damage on their self-esteem. Rather than feeling confused about why they couldn’t have their parent’s attention at that moment, they will understand that it is not personal; rather, it was simply not the right time and place.

By implementing these three things into your child’s life, it will significantly increase your child’s level of comfort and trust in their support system.